You might be from a small town if...

You might be from a small town if...

1. You can name everyone you graduated with. (I think I can name like 25 out of 30 people)
2. You know several people who have hit a deer. (I even know one who did it on purpose)
3. You know what 4-H and FFA is. (Of course I do. Duh)
4. You ever went to a party that was held about 20 miles down a deserted dirt road near the woods. (In Jake's field. Assholes kept me up)
5. Being able to hit a road sign with a beer bottle while driving down the highway is considered a necessary skill. (I bet I could do it if I were ever dumb enough to drink and drive)
6. You used to drag "main." (Haha, yeah...)
7. A "lap? only takes 10 minutes. (I bet I could make it in 7)
8. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. (The corn :-P)
9. You said the 'F' word and your parents knew within an hour. (Not that they cared)
10. Driving to the party on a four-wheeler is quite normal. (Course it is. No better way to travel when you ain't got a license)
11. You thought the 30-year-old guy that still was at all the parties was cool. (Sure...let's go with that)
12. The town population increases by one-third when the universities go on break. (Every time)
13. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers since you know which ones would bust you. (Ehh, none of them would bust any of us)
14. You live for summer, when street fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season. (Mmm funnel cake...)
15. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is. (Sure. Won't do either but I know what they are)
16. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year (Defiantly)
17. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. (The mayor of Mt. Carroll does)
18. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave all the doors unlocked. (Why yes, yes we did)
19. When you found someone old enough to buy smokes for you, you had to drive down country roads to smoke them. (Don't smoke)
20. Running from the cops consists of hiding in the cornfield or swimming across the river. (Cept for when the idiot started the cornfield on fire. Kinda hard to hide then)
21. You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from. (Savanna, Freeport, Rockford, Warren, Mt. Carroll, Lena...now do you get where I am??)
22. You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day. (Sometimes)
23. You still go home for Homecoming. (Nah...I go to Pearl City for homecoming)
24. It was cool to date someone from a neighboring town. (Still is)
25. You had a senior skip day. (They did)
26. The whole school went to the same party after graduation. (Hell no, they would kill each other)
27. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, plant, or animal. (Probably)
28. You can't help but date a friend's ex. (It was either that or forget about dating all together)
29. The first day of shotgun season is a school holiday. (Yes it is. We have a teachers institute on that day for a reason)
30. Your car is always filthy from the country roads. (Always)
31. A cool vehicle had big tires or a bad-ass stereo. (Or could go from 0-60 in under 20 seconds while hauling a trailer)
32. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snotty" when it is just like your town. (Still do)
33. You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair. (Umm yeah at Rita's)
34. You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people." (Sure they are)
35. There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it. (I've actually seen this)
36. You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway. (Well yeah, unless they mistake me for Abby)
37. Using the elevator involves a grain truck. (It's fun to ride that one)
38. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday. (Nope)
39. You know which leaves make good toilet paper or you are “road broke.? (Yes I am road broke and yes I know the best leaves)
40. Weekend excitement involves a trip to somewhere farther than an hour away from home. (Sad but true)
41. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. (Every fucking harvest)
42. You decide to walk for exercise and five people pull over and ask you if you need a ride. (If not more)
43. Your teachers call you by your older sibling's name or remember when they taught your parents. (All my old teachers either remembered teaching my parents or...dating my parents)
44. You are related to more than half of the town. (About 2/3 actually)
45. You listen to "Paul Harvey" every morning or at noon. (Sometimes but not often anymore)
46. You get married, hit a home run/make a touchdown, or have a traffic accident and the local newspaper devotes a quarter page to the story. (Haha, no comment)
47. You measure distance in minutes. (It takes 15 minutes to get to any of the surrounding towns from my house and 3o minutes to get to the big city of Freeport)
48. You hang out at Wal-Mart. (Wally World's cool man)
49. Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right. (Pretty much. I stopped reading the paper when I realized the editor never got it right)
50. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends (Well I'm sending it on to you, my readers.)

Now you see, I really am from a small town. Populations <3,000. Actually I just looked it up on Wikipedia. The population as of the 2000 census was 1,926 so <2,000. And I doubt it's grown much since then.