I will stand by you forever.

Today made one month for Ryan and I. Anyone who knows me, knows that's a fairly huge accomplishment. Most of they guys I've dated have found someone else to love by now or just fell out of love with me. I don't think that's going to happen with Ryan and I. He knows my fears and I know his, to a point. We both have things that are private. I have never assumed to know all his fears and I doubt he thinks he knows all mine. But we know the important ones.

I am so not going to start celebrating every month but the first month is very special to me. Ryan's birthday is the next big celebration on the horizon. He's turning 24 on the 23rd but we're not celebrating until the 23th because he'll be celebrating his actual birthday with his family. Some may wonder why I'm not celebrating his birthday with them. That would be because I haven't actually met them. It's not that I'm a secret per-say. Ryan's mother, Jean, knows about me but Ryan's father, Larry, and his brother, Sean, don't. At least they didn't last time I checked.

I don't feel like a secret usually but sometimes...Sometimes I do. I want to spend my life with Ryan, but I don't want to do it without his family knowing. I plan on having kids. Not right now, but before I'm 25, and I want them to know their fathers side of the family. Also, I'm pretty sure Ryan would want them at the wedding. I know some of you are going 'WTF?' out there but Ryan and I have always talked about marriage and we both want to get married eventually. Actually to be technical, Ryan already asked me. But it was just jokingly. We hadn't even known each other a week at that point.

Before we get married, or have kids, or even think about getting our own place together, Ryan and I need to talk about some things. We're not twins, and we need to figure out a way for this to work without either of us loosing our independence or our unique personalities. Like his love of trains and sports or my love of reading and writing. What's great is we do have a good amount of things in common. Like we both love playing video games, and we neither of us lets the other win. It's not that we're overly competitive, we just like challenging each other.

Every time I hear this song, I think of Ryan and how much he means to me.

Hero

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owTmJrtD7g8

Would you dance, if i asked you to dance?

Would you run and never look back?

Would you cry if you saw me crying?

And, would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this.

Now would you die, for the one that you love?

Hold me in your arms tonight.

I can be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.

Would swear that you'll always be mine?

Or would you lie, would you run and hide?

Am I in to deep?

Have i lost my mind?

I don't care, you're here tonight.

I can be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just want to hold you.

I just want to hold you.

Am I in too deep?

Have I lost my mind?

Well I don't care, you're here tonight.

I can be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.

I cant be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero...